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The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat, by Elizabeth Landers, Vicky Mainzer
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Now in paperback, the tough-love truth about following the predictable clues men leave when they are unfaithful
He says: "Ill never have an affair." He means: "Im clever. Youll never know." He says: "You need to see a psychiatrist." He means: "Youre the problem." He says: "Im working late." He means: "I found my soul mate."
If any of the above sounds familiar, be on your guard: your husband may be following The Script. The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat is a wake-up call to women everywhere. Statistics show that 35 percent of men cheat on their wives. Authors Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer contend that every one exhibits the same signs along the way. In fact, they follow the same exact script. After interviewing dozens of people across the country, listening to hundreds of real-life stories of unfaithful husbands, they realized they were hearing the same things over and over again. Here is a book that will show you the signs to look for, red flags you may not have noticed before, and how to turn the tide before it's too late.
- Sales Rank: #1153508 in Books
- Published on: 2006-04-19
- Released on: 2006-04-19
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .0" w x 5.19" l, .42 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
About the Author
Vicky Mainzer and Elizabeth Landers met as co-chairs for the San Francisco University High School’s Decorator Showcase fundraiser back in the 1980s. Elizabeth has been the general manager of the San Francisco Daily Journal, a stockbroker, a banker, the president of San Francisco Haddasah, and a fulltime mother. She lives in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, and New York City. Vicky has been a nurse, an event planner, and a hospital director of volunteers, and a full-time mother. A community service leader, she was recently named a Brightest Star of Idaho by Governor Kempthorne. She now resides in her hometown of Pocatello, Idaho.
Most helpful customer reviews
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful.
Good info, but disagreed with advice
By Elisabeth
This book is divided into 2 parts. Part 1 is the script a man follows when contemplating committing adultery and when already committing it. Part 2 is the script he follows when leaving his wife for his mistress and what his life is like once with her.
In Part 1, the authors advise women to act like doctors, treating the pain early while the problem is still "small". This entails either stopping a man from committing adultery or if he already has, stopping him from leaving with the mistress. They accomplish this by being attractive, keeping the home neat and comfortable, and showing him lots of appreciation and attention.
The problem with this advice is it implies men cheat because of something a woman lacks...when really, it's what the cheater lacks: good character. When people have good character, they solve problems by being honest and playing fair.
The other problem with this advice is it encourages women to compete with mistresses, which is unrealistic. Unless a wife is willing to absolve men of all marital and parental responsibilities, she can't mimic what he has with a mistress. Again, this is more focus away from the real problem (lack of good character) in favor of quick fix solutions.
Another problem was telling women to be grateful if a man communicates in a rude and critical way because at least he's communicating. But that's not communicating; that's bullying. Rationalizing hurtful behavior pardons a man from growing up, which he could do if given the chance. There's no guarantee, of course. He could still run off with a less challenging woman, but at least she handled the situation with her dignity intact.
In Part 2, the advice gets better. If a man is leaving, they tell women to protect their assets and stick up for themselves. However, in the last section of the book, when describing a man's life with his mistress, their advice falls apart again.
Here they warn a man that if he leaves his wife, things won't work according to his plan. He won't get all the property he thought he would, he won't get to play with his wife's friends anymore, married couples will shun him because his lifestyle threatens theirs, and sex with his mistress won't be any better than with his wife.
Even if all this is true, his staying has nothing to do with cherishing and respecting his wife for who she is an individual. Instead, it's about using her to keep certain perks of married life.
There's so much focus on preventing this man from leaving, but not enough on why he's worth fighting for in the first place. These men seemed too immature for an adult relationship. If dinner wasn't ready when they got home, they didn't consider their wife being too busy taking care of kids and other responsibilities. If their advice wasn't taken without question, they didn't consider their wife's right to question it.
I still gave this book 3 stars because it's important to expose a cheater's game. I just disagreed on how to deal with those games.
35 of 38 people found the following review helpful.
I acted out the "Script"
By Jane's Joe
I heard two ladies speaking of this book in a cafe yesterday. Apparently it is hot off the press, but I found it easily at a local book store. I thought it might be interesting because I am the ex-husband of a woman I cheated on. I opened it and finished it within a few hours becuause I couldn't believe my eyes! Reading the "Script" was an insight into my own behavior. I was caught on a behavioral roller coaster, not even aware of my own actions, comments, treatment of my wife. I actually ACTED out the "Script". Had I or my wife realized which "scene" I was in/on, we may have been able to twart the final result...I cheated and she left me. Not every man may follow the "Script" exactly because each man is an individual. He may enter "stage left" or "stage right." However I think any couple in crisis, especially where the man (or even woman) is/will be cheating, will find contents and resources in this book helpful to save the marraige/relationship before it's too late. I know I wish I had known I was acting the "Script" before it was too late.
29 of 33 people found the following review helpful.
Consolation for Women Surviving Betrayal and/or Divorce
By O. Merce Brown
****
This book is a quick and comforting read for those women who suspect their husbands may be cheating or for those women who are going through a divorce. I enjoyed it too, though, because I feel that it will prepare me should I ever be in this situation.
The basic premise of the book is that men who cheat follow a predictable Script, and that they always have followed this Script throughout history, always telling women the same things in order to relieve themselves of guilt and make themselves look good. Men will do most anything to make themselves look good and come out on top, even things that would be out of character for them when they were married and devoted---I agree with this assertion from the book (based on my own personal experience).
While it's true that this book is not based upon scientific studies, it is based upon anecdotal experience that every woman is familiar with if she has ever had a friend, sister, or mother who has been betrayed by their spouse. I think the book is incredibly valuable because it helps the betrayed woman not feel alone, not feel like she is "unstable" or going crazy, not feel like it's all her problem.
If you know of someone who is trying to survive betrayal and/or divorce by a cheating husband, or if you even suspect this, it would be a great book for both you and for her.
****
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